striving after the wind

The frustrations of life can be draining sometimes. During difficult days, the work we place all our efforts into can often seem pointless. The turmoil in dealing with others of differing views can result in agitation, sadness, or even unworthiness. A lack of approval or even acknowledgement from those around us can make it hard to continue diligently in a task.

My flesh admits that I sometimes fall into the sinking hole of these worldly realities. The trials of this life can be so frustrating and perplexing that it’s hard to find satisfaction and fulfillment in the things we commit our lives to. We can all agree that everything under the sun can make us feel like we are chasing something that can never be grasped. It’s as if everything can be simplified into the imagery of the air we breathe. We can’t see it; we can’t even get a hold of it. Yet we constantly need more and more — but what we obtain is never enough.

The underlying truth beneath all of life’s nuances is that no matter how much we try to gain in this world — whether it’s wealth, social recognition, education, or even wisdom — we will never find contentment with the things on this Earth. This is simply because everything under the sun is vanity. So the problem with expecting to find personal satisfaction and fulfillment in this life is that we aren’t placed here for our own glory. We weren’t created to wander this world only looking at the things under the sun.

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what is love day?

Personally, I don’t care for holidays that capitalize on people’s need to get affirmation from others. We all, myself included for sure, long to receive love in some sort of way constantly, so why would we need another holiday to enhance these never-ending feelings that are never fully satisfied?

The love stories have it all wrong. The romantic comedies are fun to watch, but the sense of false hope it gives us is one that we must understand is false. The one truth we must all rest in is the fact that earthly love is temporary. We have all had a sense of this love too– people who are single, in a relationship, and married alike. When looking to others for a sense of being loved and known, it ends with a void of heart. And this missing piece will always be omnipresent if we don’t fill the void with the only key that fits.

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residing in His dreams

Well this year has certainly started with a bang. 2016 began with God speaking to me at a coffee shop 100 yards away from where Passion was about to take place. He spoke pride versus confidence over me, and how this year was going to be surrounded by this concept. The giving away of pride and gaining of a confidence in Him was going to be my life– a throwing away of life-driven pride for a taking on of an infinitely more fulfilling, confidence-based purpose. It was a shift from looking in my situation and then glancing at God to first looking up to Him before gazing in this world.

“I rejoice because I have complete confidence in You.” -2 Corinthians 7:16

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clarity in the {fog}

Have you ever looked into the mirror not really knowing what you are looking at? I mean you obviously see yourself and you know that it’s you looking back… but you don’t really know what is beyond that?

For a good portion of my life, when looking into the mirror, I would feel this way. It may sound pathetic, whatever, but it’s the cold hard truth. I would look at myself knowing there was more to life than just the mirrored image staring back at me… but what that was though, I didn’t know.

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single yet [in a relationship]

I’m about to ask a silly question so be prepared. What season is it?

Okay, so we all know it’s summer. BUT what other season is it? Wedding season. Yeah, you heard me…wedding season. Really wedding season never really seems to fade away these days. I am guessing it’s my age, but it still amazes me with every invitation I receive in the mail. You wanna know what I think before opening those letters?

Yes, “Alli you’re single. No dance partner for you. More cake for you though?”

Isn’t that terrible? I know all you single folks think similar things though, so don’t make me feel all alone in those thoughts. Truthfully, I don’t mind the single life. You can go as you please, don’t have to check in constantly, and don’t have to wear makeup all the time (okay, so maybe that’s why I’m single??). Independence at its best, and that’s what I strive at. BUT when those wedding invitations come in the mail…those thoughts dissolve for a few seconds. It’s like it’s time to put a big A on your chest. No not for adultery as in the Scarlet Letter but for alone. Yep, ALONE.

Single people aren’t the only ones who have feelings of being alone though. Regardless of relationship status, there are always going to be those times when the people around us will not be able to fill those voids in our hearts and minds. And it’s not their responsibility to do so… because like you, they aren’t perfect.

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satisfaction in His creation.

This past Saturday I had the honor to go to the Atlanta Mart to see the 2016 prom dress collections (no I am not going to prom…well unless someone invites me of course). It was such a cool experience, and the dresses were amazing. BUT I also feel like I should be brutally honest about it…and being around a hundred drop dead gorgeous models doesn’t really boost a girl’s self-esteem.

Don’t get me wrong, these girls were so welcoming and sweet. However, that almost kind of made it worse…like beautiful looks AND great personalities…there’s no hope for the rest of us, right?

I left that building feeling like I wasn’t ever going to be good enough.

I share this story not to fish for compliments or anything of that manner at all. I share this experience because I know there are times when we ALL feel like this. And it’s not always physical looks but intelligence, talents, personality traits… the list goes on and on. It’s human. It’s a natural response when we feel out of our element and comfort zone.

But the story doesn’t end here.

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light in a [world of darkness]

Okay, honestly, I am not one who really watches the news. My daily regimen consists of waking up, after hitting snooze like 5 times, proceeding to sluggishly make my way to the kitchen to eat and make coffee… and then starting my day. I know. I should watch the news. BUT why watch the news when social media spills the beans constantly?

Kidding. I know I should be more interested in the serious matters of the world. I am working on it, I am.

So this brings me to my main point… and you may think I’m crazy for what I am about to say… but holy moly what has the world come to?? Believe me when I say I’m not referring to any certain event or matter; however, I don’t know about you, but the events of today’s life have really left me pondering life–what it is, what it stands for, and how to go about living it. I mean, seriously, this world we live in can be hateful and forevermore judgmental. Isn’t it depressing? Gosh, it will make a girl sick just thinking about all the negativity that surrounds our every day life. And then to try to understand where people are coming from… that will make your head spin round and round…

“then I saw all that God has done. No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all his efforts to search it out, man cannot discover its meaning. Even if a wise man claims he know, he cannot really comprehend it.” [Ecclesiastes 8:17]

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